


Get Happy

by RocketShipperLevi



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Asra x Julian, Depression, Julian x Asra, M/M, Recovery, Symbolism, antidepressants, asra - Freeform, julian devorak - Freeform, possible trigger warning, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-27 15:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocketShipperLevi/pseuds/RocketShipperLevi
Summary: Asra, sick and distraught of seeing Julian this way, tries to find a way to make him happy again.





	Get Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. I deeply apologize for once again deleting my last story, but since then I have realized that since I am new to writing again, I should not have immediately decided to write a chapter story. So, I have decided to write a story with a single chapter this time. This is my actual comeback to writing, I will not delete this one and I have many other future stories planned for various fandoms.
> 
> I need to warn you of a possible trigger warning before you continue. This trigger warning is for depression and symbolized antidepressants (they will not be called antidepressants in the story but they are inspired off of them and the effects of them). This story is supposed to represent the stress of knowing someone with depression, the emotional toll that takes on you, and the relief of recovery. Please note that antidepressants do not have the same effect on everybody and the effects described in this story are not the same effects that everybody who takes them goes through. Antidepressants don't always work for everybody. Feel free to leave a comment but please keep them kind and respectful. Please, mind any spelling or grammar mistakes you may notice throughout the story.
> 
> I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. (Piano music goes nicely with it)
> 
> \- Author

As he sat the glass bottle on the table in front of him, Asra thought about Julian.

As he gathered the ingredients to make his potion, he thought about Julian. Even as he fixed the ingredients together into a liquid, he was thinking about Julian, because this potion he was making was for him, and that's what he thought about as he poured it into the glass bottle in front of him. The potion was a golden-amber color and tasted lightly sweet, like honey. It was a happy potion. _A happy potion because he needs to get happy, _Asra thought, writing "For Ilya" on a label that he stuck on the bottle. _And he will get happy. _He carefully put the glass bottle in a small, brown paper bag and sighed. _He will. _Reassuring himself, he took the paper bag and went out to find Julian.

Using his magic to sense his aura, Asra found Julian at his house, and made his way there. It was a quaint little white house with a tall wooden door that Asra knocked on three times to alert Julian of his arrival. He heard the tall auburn man quickly shuffle to the door in order to answer it without wait. It opened fleetly. Julian stood there, hair curly as ever, wearing a loose white shirt and black pants. "Asra!" He exclaimed, and gave him a quick kiss before inviting him inside. Asra entered quickly and said to Julian, "I have something for you." While Julian was replying ("Oh? What is it?"), Asra carefully took the amber potion out of the brown paper bag and showed it to Julian. _He will get happy. _Julian gently took the bottle into his own hands and studied it. "Thank you dear! Um...what is it?" He asked with that same naive tone of voice he always had. His voice was one of Asra's favorite things about him. "It's a happy potion." Asra explained. "I made it for you because you're always sad. It's to make you happy again." Julian looked down at the potion-filled bottle he held again, this time with the knowledge of knowing what it was. _I want to make you happy. _

"Asra, you made me a happy potion? Wonderful! Can I drink it now?" Julian asked with excitement in his voice. Asra laughed and nodded and said, "Yes, you can drink it now, but only a little at a time. It's supposed to last you a week, the whole thing. I'll make you another when it's finished." Julian fiddled with the cork, trying to open the drink, which he finally managed. There were two things clear in his eyes, gratefulness and impatience (the bottle was a hell of a trouble to open). Finally, he chugged a bit of the honey-tasting potion before stopping himself. "Hmm..." Julian hummed, tapping his index finger against the glass bottle. "Do you feel any different?" Asra asked. "I don't know if it'll take effect right away." 

Julian's stormy eyes danced across the room impatiently. "I don't feel any happier yet." He admitted. "But I'm sure it will work soon." Asra gave him a hopeful smile and said, "I think it will." After that, they shared a moment without speaking, a silence between them. Not an awkward silence, a silence of understanding between the two. Asra, after realizing the time based on a clock on Julian's wall, cried, "I have to go! I guess...I guess I left later then I thought. Goodbye, Ilya!" Asra traveled to the wooden door again and waved goodbye to Julian. "Goodbye, Asra! And...thank you again!" Julian fared him off. Asra left Julian's house and continued onto his shop again, smiling when he thought about the potion he made, about how it might make Julian better. Still, he could not stop thinking about some of the stories he had heard about happy potions and charms and other things supposed to stop one's sadness. Some stories said the potions made people angry, anxious, even more sad. But yet...there were still the hopeful tales of people who took a happy potion, and it did what it was intended to do: it made them happy. People who's lives were changed because they drank the potion, and the potion worked. Asra hoped that was the case with him, but there was a small part inside him that thought maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would only make Julian worse.

_He will get better._

Asra sat at the front desk of his magic shop, slightly humming to himself, melancholy thoughts in his mind. He was thinking about, quite truthfully, a night with Julian he had a while ago. The night had started off a bit tense, nothing too much, but Julian wasn't like he usually was. He was quieter, speaking only really when Asra had spoken to him first, and when he did speak, it happened in short, chunky sentences. Throughout the night, Asra continually questioned him by asking, "What's wrong?" "Why are you being so quiet?" "Did something happen?" and in the end of all the pestering, Julian was left tearful and sobbing. There was no real explanation on _why _Julian had been so quiet that night, nothing had happened to him that day, it only came down to this: his depression had simply been a bit worse that day. Nothing more, nothing less, but that night was the night that Asra decided he would find a way to help him, and after that night, he spent quite a bit of his free time trying to find a potion that had the best good stories told about it. He eventually came across the amber colored, honey flavored potion he had given to Julian earlier in the day. From what he had heard, it did take a little while to kick in, but it nonetheless worked.

Asra looked down at the desk he was sitting at and placed his head down on it. Slow sobs came up his throat as he thought about Julian ("I don't know Asra I don't know what's going on with me I don't know why I'm so sad") and that night with him. _God dammit, _he thought. _This has to work. I can't stand to see him like this. I can't stand to see him feel this way anymore. I can't. I can't. _His sobs were getting heavier and harder to choke down. The tears on his face fell down onto his desk, wetting it. He didn't want to admit it, but seeing Julian this way really stressed him out ("I'm sorry Asra I really am sorry but-") and made him a bit angry. _Am I mad at him? _ He thought. _Am I seriously mad at him for being this way? _ Letting the thought pass, Asra realized that it wasn't Julian he was mad at. It was a God, a higher power, _anything _like that. He was mad at some form of God for making Julian that way. For making Julian feel a way that Asra didn't understand. For making everything so complicated. _Why can't sadness just be a feeling that passes...just a one time thing......not like this, _He thought. _Why did it have to be like this?_

His sobs and desperate cries made him drift off into a sleep.

** _Six Weeks Later_ **

It really was a good fucking view. It really was. They were standing on a bridge, looking out onto the horizon. The sun was deeply setting, yellows and oranges and pinks and purples and dark blues were painted across the sky, all speckled with white, glowing stars. Asra's arm was around Julian's waist. They stood there, looking on at the view. What a good view that was._ I want to be here forever, _Asra thought. _I want to be here with Ilya forever. _Julian was thinking quite the same: _I wish me and Asra could watch the sky forever. _His thoughts were interrupted by Asra, who put his other arm around Julian's waist and said, "You know why we're here, right?" Julian thought about it for a moment and then looked down at his shorter partner. "Because...it's romantic?" Julian guessed. Asra giggled and stroked his cheek, looking deeply into his eyes. "Not exactly."

Asra looked over at the sunset again and gave a deep, calming sigh. "I love this place more than any other." He admitted. "Because at sunset, the sky reminds me of you." Asra pointed to the sky and said, "You see all those colors? They remind me of you, of...us, together. And remember what you told me this morning? It made me think of this place." Julian tried to remember what he had said to Asra that morning, which was a bit hard. He was a big talker and said a lot of things, especially to Asra. "Well...I told you that I loved you." Julian said. "Is that it?" Asra smiled and shook his head no. "Uhm...I said we should go on another date?" He guessed. "No," Asra said. "You told me that you were getting happy again." Julian's expression softened, his face made somehow prettier with a gentle smile. "Oh right." He remembered. "I did say that this morning." Asra's smile grew wider, for some reason he felt as if he could cry at any moment. He was just so happy. "You know what?" Julian asked. He slowly leaned in and kissed Asra, deeply in love. He leaned back from the kiss and said, "I really did mean it. Really."

Tears started to form in Asra's eyes this time. He gazed lovingly at Julian, twirled the man's curly red hair and admitted, "I was so worried about this." ("I'm sorry Asra I really am sorry I'm sorry Asra") "About what?" Julian asked. "The potion." Asra answered. "I was just worried...that it wouldn't work as good as I thought it would." ("You don't need to be sorry, Ilya") Julian gave Asra a reassuring smile and said, "It worked wonders." Asra looked up at him with hope gleaming in his eyes. "I haven't felt this happy in...in a long time, dear. You don't have to worry." That was what reassured Asra. "But please, do tell me. What about the sky reminds you of me?" Julian asked. Asra smiled softly and looked at the sky again. "Well, it's all so complex. Beautiful, kind of makes you wonder. Makes you think about the best things in life. Like even if everything else goes to shit...well, you've still got that view. That's what, Julian. That's why this view reminds me of you. Of us, even. Together."

("I'm sorry Asra I'm sorry)

Julian was tired of apologizing for nothing.

He decided, here and now, that he would much rather cherish the time with Asra instead of focusing on the feelings of guilt and regret and sorrow that came with his depression.

He decided, here and now, that it wasn't worth it to waste his time like that.

To waste his time when he could be cherishing it.

He was tired of waiting.

Julian wrapped his arms around Asra's waist and kissed him again, this time somehow more passionate than the last. He was tired of waiting. Life didn't last forever. He had to cherish it _now._ "I love you, Asra." Asra blushed a deep red and found his words. He replied, "I love you too, Ilya. Of course I do. I always will." 

Julian might not be all the way better yet. He might still have some recovery left. He might never recover fully. That didn't matter, because he was better _now, _he was happy _now, _and he was trying _now, _in that moment, right now. Asra was helping him. Everyone was helping him. He didn't have to be alone anymore. Most importantly, he didn't _want _to be alone anymore.

It really was a damn good view.


End file.
